But, I see G*d in my darkest hours.
He is my warmth, my thankful embrace, my focus. Upon Her my despair dissipates. But She...
Her/His existence, is decidedly "undecidable"
so I cannot prove nor disapprove the Tetragrammaton (the four-letter name of my G*d), but that the Aleph is (א) (http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Grammar/Unit_One/Aleph-Bet/Aleph/aleph.html) is somewhere prominent in the sequence of His/her name.
It is one of the vowels of He/She, that is the one, in the four-letter name.
My soul, wait only upon the L*rd. For my salvation only comes upon Him. He is my rock, my salvation, my stronghold, only upon Him shall my soul wait.