I totally disagree with your decision to cut your life short but I respect it. Very few can or could have walked in your shoes and come away as long as you did. You ran with the best and put most to rest and went as far as you did. ALL ON YOUR OWN.
A beautiful voice and musical creativity hardly paralleled. You were the spirit of humanity, broken but perseverant. You remind me of many I know and knew (sadly).
Growing old is never a disgrace. It is time to let go and let G*d. Tomorrow is a new day...